Never Lasting
by Forg0ttenPuppet
Summary: After being rejected by Naruto, Hinata starts to see Asuma as a god and falls madly in love. How much longer can she hide these feelings for the untouchable Jonin?
1. Deep Thoughts

**The wind slightly danced with her midnight hair as she walked down the streets of her village. She was on her way to the academy to help watch over one of the classes.**

**It was early in the morning and not many people were outside yet. Her eyes watched the ground as her mind wondered off to the familiar face she learned to love.**

**To her, he was a god, an untouchable god. His shadowy hair would always lie perfectly against his head and his chocolate brown eyes made her melt. Just the thought of him had made heat rise to her face.**

**He was to perfect, almost as if he was just a part of her imagination. It was almost unbearable to watch as he would kiss her teacher during training, and even more unbearable to hear their meaningless "I love you". **

**She was once in love with a blonde shinobi but found herself rejected. It hadn't hurt as much as she had thought and finally realized what she had felt for him was pure admiration. **

**But this, the feeling she felt for her untouchable god was more than she had ever felt for the reckless blonde. It had been only a year since her rejection and only a year since she realized her heart was ment for someone else.**

"**Hinata?"**

**The kunochi looked up to see her teacher staring at back at her. Though she never wanted to admit it, she was beautiful. Her dark curls would always hang in the right spot and her crimson eyes seemed to know everything. **

**A goddess like woman, for a god like man. **

**Jealousy filled her chest and she wanted to run crying. Crying for what she was unable to have. What she'd never have, but she stood her ground.**

"**Y-Yes Kurenai-Sensi?" She managed to stutter, it was an old habit, an old habit she was finally starting to break.**

**Kurenai looked at her, studying her. Kurenai had always been a motherly figure to her and she could always come to her for advice, but lately she found herself straying away from her.**

"**The academy doesn't open for another 3 hours, want to get breakfast? Catch up on things? My treat!" She kindly asked and ended the sentence in a smile.**

**The kunochi searched her mind for a reason not to go. But there were no more reasons; she had already used them all. She knew she'd have to talk with Kurenai sooner or later, she just thought it'd be much later.**

"**Sure" I put on a fake smile as we walked off toward a restaurant. **

**It was a small café that was only open during the summer. It was petite and kawaii and served some of the best dishes known to Konaha. We were seated at a table and handed menus.**

**I looked up past my menu to look at Kurenai, she had found what she wanted and was waiting for my order. I looked back at the menu and the only thing that seemed even the slightest appetizing was to knock her out.**

"**May I h-have 2eggs?" **

**This was so unfair, why am I with her when I want to punch her in the face? I scolded myself for thinking that. I had no right to be jealous, he was hers, besides we were 15 years apart. Would never work anyway.**

**Kurenai ordered our food and the waiter was in the back. She looked at me, as if she already knew everything. That bitch, who the hell was she to look at me like that.**

"**Hinata, I'd like to ask you something."**

"**S-sure."**

"**I feel like, well… Like we're not as close anymore. We barely hang out and you only talk to me about missions and training." Her face turned mournful, it was clear she really missed those days. "Please, let me back in. Talk to me, about anything…."**

**The dispirit tone of her voice had caught her off guard. She wasn't expecting that. She didn't know how to reply, so instead she starred out the window, searching for words.**

"**I don't r-really know where to sta" Her voice was cut off as she saw her god walk down the street past their café. She found herself starring at him. He had a cigarette in his mouth, like always.**

**He turned his head and for the slightest of seconds their eyes met. Her body started to melt and she could feel the rush of heat in her face. She quickly looked forward starring but not seeing Kurenai.**

**Her chest started pounding as her blood started to race. She knew by now he had seen Kurenai and was on her way in the café. **

**Calm yourself Hinata. Be calm, or you'll attract too much attention. Noticing for the first time that she had been starring at a confused teacher she quickly thought of something to say.**

"**I, I just remembered" Kurenai gave her a puzzled look but didn't say anything. "I have to go meet Naruto!"**

**The first name in a long time, she had not stuttered, maybe her habit was finally cured. She quickly spun out of her chair and raced toward the door without noticing she hit a soft, warm wall. The scent was welcoming her. **

"**Hinata?" his voice, that pure voice that has to belong to a god. **

**I looked up and slowly felt blood rush to my face. Everything blurred, and I felt myself fall backwards. "A-Asuma-Sensi" **


	2. Tears Will Fall

**Her eyes slowly opened as the light came through the window the next morning. She rubbed her eyes and stretched. Realizing that she wasn't at home she observed the area she was in.**

**It was a small white room with a homey safe feel to it. That's when she realized she didn't remember anything from the night before.**

**She searches through her memoires to find a reason why she was in a hospital bed. She observed her surroundings better, hoping that maybe it'll help her find a cause of the absence.**

**Observing closely she saw that she'd been given many flowers, some where lily's others were poppy's, both arranged in a beautiful fashion. There had to be at least 5 different sets of flowers, how long had she been here?**

**Then she felt a slight tug at the bottom of her bed. She looked down and saw a dark haired woman and tear stained cheeks sleeping over the foot of her bed.**

**That's when everything hit her, full force, she remembered going to breakfast, she remembered running out of the café, and she remembered running into the man she wanted. **

**Her face turned red from just thinking about being that close to him. He had smelled sweet and welcoming. She longed to be that close again.**

**She looked back down toward her tear stained teacher. **_Oh what am I to do with you? I can't just tell you I'm in love with your husband. _**She sighed at her own thoughts.**

**She got up carefully not wishing to disturb Kurenai's peaceful sleep, and went over to the window. She sat down holding her legs close to her chest, watching the people outside.**

_Stupid girl _**She thought **_why did I have to fall in love with a man I know I could never have? _**She knew she'd have to do something. **

**She looked back over and watched as Kurenai slept. She longed for her company almost as much as she longed to be held by Asuma. She'd have to choose one or the other.**

**The frustration of choosing made her sight blur with unwanted tears. She started to whimper, it was so unfair.**

**She felt a nudge at her shoulder and she turned to see red through her eyes. She quickly was held while soft soothing words were being said.**

"**Hinata, there's no need for tears. Everything's all right, you've only been passed out for a day." **

**A couple minutes passed before her tears had stopped and they were now sitting next to each other on the hospital bed. **

"**Hinata, there's a couple things I need to tell you."**

**Hinata looked up at her teacher with confusion. **

"**Hinata, do you like kids?"**

"**Of course I think there amazing, why?"**

"**Because, I wish for you to be the godmother of my child"**

_Child, she was pregnant, with Asuma's baby? _**She didn't know how to react, part of her wanted to jump up and down and another part wanted to choke her because she wanted to be the one to have Asuma's child. **

**She looked down at Kurenai's stomach and placed a hand over it. Now she knew who she'd have to choose. Though she wished she could have them both, she realized that Kurenai would always love her, and Asuma would never be hers.**

"**Yes, yes I'd like that very much Kurenai."**

**For the next 7 months she was always with Kurenai, and Asuma who would always follow. They were both happy about the baby, and Hinata ignored her feelings for Asuma.**

**On the day the baby was due Hinata and Asuma sat out in the waiting room. He was pacing up and down like he was waiting for an Earthquake, when a doctor came in with a small baby wrapped up in a blanket giving bundle of joy a new meaning. **

**The doctor handed the baby to Asuma who looked at it like he held the world in his hands. After a few minutes he handed the bundle of joy to me.**

**I held it carefully observing it. It was a girl, a beautiful baby girl. She had Kurenai's eyes and full head of black curly hair. I looked up to see the doctor with a mournful look to his face.**

**I didn't understand at first until he took Asuma into another room and started talking. He came back in the joy and happiness no longer on his face.**

**As I held the baby close to me we starred at each other. It was like having a silent conversation. No words only expressions.**

**I finally understood everything, as the facts finally hit me I started to cry and the baby followed. **

**Kurenai had died giving birth to the beautiful baby girl.**


End file.
